Our feelings are all around us and are difficult to control, but gaining this ability has the power to transform and accelerate healing in all areas of your life. In my work as an Intuitive Counselor and Coach, my clients suffer from anger over everything from relationships breakups, mistreatment by their parents to not having achieved their potential. Regardless of the experience, the lesson is always the same, when we recognize our internal boiling point, we have the ability to control the outcome.

Sometime ago while walking with my husband we were debating a number of issues in our relationship. I became so engrossed in our conversation that suddenly a small barking dog appeared at my feet. The dog’s owner quickly answered my question about it’s arrival and told me, “it is barking like you are.” Within an instant my level of anger rose to the point where we exchanged some very heated words. Suddenly we were waving fingers, saying things that could have resulted in physical violence.

In a moment of clarity, I became consciously aware of the danger and choose to disconnect from the experience. This is where practicing emotional hygiene becomes so powerful, because each of us moment by moment can choose to create to change anything we want. After expressing to the woman my desire for “peace,” and a willingness to accept blame for the anger outburst, I choose to consciously disconnect and started to walk away.

My reaction was met with a great deal of resistance from the woman, and she continued to follow us. With her yelling behind me, I willed my mind, body and spirit to focus on peace and love. Covering us both with a protective layer of white light, we resumed our walk and the woman at some point disappeared.

This experience served as a vital lesson for my work with my clients. Teaching people to be intuitively aware of their feelings allows us to collect the data that is needed to change any circumstance we face in our lives. This capacity is vital to understanding our choices, options and alternatives to achieving a prosperous, healthy and long life.

The book, Infinite Mind by Dr. Valerie Hunt is one of the first truly scientific understanding of the relationship between energy field disturbances, disease and emotional pathologies. Best known for her pioneering research in the field of bioenergy, Dr. Hunt’s visionary approach coupled with a rigorous adherence to the highest scientific standards has won her international acclaim in the fields of physiology, medicine and bioengineering.

Each of us has the capacity to recognize the emotion of anger and to control it. If you observe yourself being angry and allow yourself to step back intuitively, this will give you the power to make a different choice.

1. Meditate regularly – Research shows that regular meditators are more likely to alter habits or even moods. Focusing on what you want is a way to uplift your spirit to approach a difficult period as a blessing. Even short periods of quiet reflection make a difference. Research shows that as little as 10 minutes of quieting your mind will have a powerful impact on your attitude and thoughts.

2. Open up your heart energy – Before your interview (phone or live) ask yourself what does your body says about the vibes you want to send out. Look at your posture, even if you are doing a phone interview, dress up. Take note of the both the positive and negative things your intuition picks up. Make a checklist of what your inner knowing tells you. Once you become aware of your body’s signals it will become easier to make choices which are aligned with what you want. When you go through the checklist pay attention to all your feelings. Subconsciously we often connect with our past experiences and then unknowingly attract in the same circumstances! Repeating the same lessons will only delay your progress. Determine if there is unfinished business that you need to address.

3. Take time for a pep talk! Everything is about sales…and selling yourself to yourself is critical. Pay attention to your self talk. If you don’t believe in you, who will? Know yourself and become aware of what raises your energy level. If it is reading something uplifting make time for that everyday. For many people listening to motivating songs is a way to help raise their consciousness. My theme song in one difficult period of my life was Gloria Estefan’s “Coming Out of the Darkness.”

4. Connect with your interviewer. I’m not saying be phony, but find a way to notice something that matters about this person that stands out. Use this approach in every meeting that you have with people, you never know who will open the door of opportunity for you. Creating a positive attitude goes a long way to affect others. The energy of communication happens in our subtle energy. It travels from heart to heart and is subconsciously impacted on the person’s mind.

5. Do soulful giving. One of the best ways I’ve found to shift out of a difficult period is to get busy giving. Three years ago, when I faced the tremendous loss of my Mother’s death, while trying to build my practice, I gave God a list of everything I needed. Later that day while driving by a neighborhood church my intuition came back with the question, “You told me what you need, but what are you willing to give?” I parked my car and went into the church and signed up to join a team to be a volunteer to help feed the homeless. It took a few weeks, but slowly but surely things started to improve on all levels. Not only did giving allow for my heart to heal but the energy shifted and clients started to come in on a regular basis.

Researchers at John Hopkins in 2005 diagnosed “broken heart syndrome,” as a reversible heart failure that is not a classic heart attack.  High emotional stress was found to be the primary culprit of the symptoms that were produced.  The symptoms include:  heart pain, shortness of breath, and fluid in the lungs.  Middle-aged women are found to the largest segment of the population who suffer from broken heart syndrome.

Recently, a new client came in suffering from a classic case.  This healthy, middle-aged woman practiced yoga and led a healthy lifestyle.  Despite this, it didn’t prevent the severe pain that occurred when a relationship ended.

My client couldn’t sleep at night because of the pounding in her heart.  This can be quite frightening and indeed painful.  In many cases, I’ve also seen people who cannot eat or are nauseated to the point of throwing up.  Once you have ruled out that this is not a heart attack, the treatment course calls for the client to be intricately involved in their healing process.

Communicating directly with your heart it times of stress is one of the most effective ways to heal.  Becoming aware of your heart pain is the first step to working with your body.  Telling your heart that you are listening and believe that the pain you are experiencing is a wake up call concerning whatever challenge or issue you are currently facing.

Placing your hands directly on your heart is a highly effective way to connect with this vital organ.  Breathe deeply and slowly while you are focused on your heart.

Many times, people are ashamed to admit their deep pain, so turning to a professional will allow for support in your process without judgment.  One client who was going through a very painful breakup was told by her mother to “think of her boyfriend as being dead.”  This woman ended up in the emergency room later that same night gasping for breath.

No one can tell you exactly when experiencing broken heart syndrome will be over.  The process you are involved in is a part of something bigger.  It is your intuition alerting you to the need to heal your heart.

When we hear a diagnosis about a disease for ourselves or someone we care about, our minds go into an “earthquake mode.”  For a while your brain has problems processing what you are hearing, the options to pursue and how to even organize your life to handle it.

In my earlier blog, on “How to Heal A Soul Wound,” I mentioned a young female client who died from colon cancer after undergoing two severe emotional hurts.  Today I want to give you a formula for creating a new experience for yourself whenever something happens which spins you out-of-control.

After processing the news of whatever situation you are facing, become acutely aware of any or all group feelings of the people who are supporting you.  In the book, Why People Don’t Heal, by Caroline Myss, Ph.D. she calls this the “tribal level.”  She says that how the group absorbs this experience is where most people direct their energy in the time of a health crisis.

Myss like me, urges people to go into the “Individual Mind,” where you move out of fear and despair to seek an inner dialogue with yourself about the issue or problem you are facing.  Try to determine what patterns of strength and weakness that have influenced your life. Innate patterns reveal themselves to show us valuable insights that play a critical role in any healing process.

In my work, I urge people to say and feel deeply the words, “I Will to Live,” when they are in the midst of upheaval.  Myss says in her book to say to yourself a hundred times a day,”The illness is not the issue. The issue is the loss of power this illness generates in my life.”

When we interpret the negative challenges of our lives as a tremendous gift, we realize that we can choose to enpower ourselves by being aware of our patterns and turning to our intuition as a valuable tool  in our healing process.