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women's friendships intuition sheree franklin

Women’s Friendships, Part 3: How Women Know Intuitively When to Take a Chance on a New Friend

This is Part 3 in a 4-part series about Women’s Friendships by Sheree Franklin

Women often know when they intuitively “click” with a new female friend.  It can happen in the strangest places…standing in a long bathroom line at a concert, sitting in a chair next to another woman in the hair salon, shopping for vegetables at Whole Foods and sometimes living next door to a person who always has your back.  There is no owner’s manual on how these friendships begin, but if you are willing to open yourself up to a new friend, these are the friendships that will often make your world infinitely better and give you a reason to smile each day!

In this Part 3 series on women’s friendships, we will explore Energy-Raising  Friendships.

Energy-Raising Friendships

This type of friendship does not develop over a defined time period.  When the two women meet, they know intuitively that they feel good about being around each other. They do not judge one another, and they like the fact that they both act as each other’s “cheerleaders,” providing support when it’s needed. The two friends who meet spontaneously know in their hearts that the new person they met gets them at a soul level. Each person is authentic and speaks from the heart, even when what they have to say is not easy to express.  Each person has a good understanding of their own emotional baggage and has worked to release and forgive the past.  The two women are sensitive to each other’s needs and work together to resolve differences quickly.  Even if they do not see each other for a long period of time, whenever they connect the two immediately pick up wherever they left off.

Risk factor:  It can be difficult to trust a new sustaining friendship, especially if you have been hurt in the past or are not open to taking risks with new people.  Also, despite your busyness, it is important to make time for a sustaining friendship.  People do not want to feel that they are another item on your to-do-list or that you only make time for the friendship when you do not have a date or when your partner or husband is out of town.  The biggest risk is that the two women will meet and recognize their special connection and neither one will make the effort by either getting their cell phone number and/or making and keeping plans to see their new friend.

Lessons to learn:  Both people must be willing to risk vulnerability with the other person.  In addition, they must find out the other’s person’s special interests and needs and follow-through in making plans to see each other when time permits.

Read Part 4 in the series …

Intuitive Life Strategist Sheree Franklin helps people to find the courage to release their life challenges in order to live in alignment with their true self. She is the author of Intuition: The Hidden Asset Everyone Should Learn to Use.  To learn more about Franklin’s book go to www.amzn.to/1UxlWLG.  Sheree Franklin is a practitioner at Holistic Health Practice at One East Superior, in Chicago. Her practice includes one-to-one coaching as well as speaking to corporate and nonprofit organizations. For more information, go to www.shereefranklin.com or call 312-664-8376.

 


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intuition and women friendships sheree franklin

Women’s Friendships, Part 2: Should Women Check in With Their Intuition Before Choosing a New Friend?

This is Part 2 in a 4-part series about Women’s Friendships by Sheree Franklin

In my work as an Intuitive Coach and Counselor, romantic and family relationships aren’t the only ones that cause my clients pain. Many of my female clients come in feeling like their hearts have been ripped out when a female friendship ends, seeking answers to the most common question: WHY?

There is no way we can protect ourselves from being hurt, but women can consciously choose to be more intuitively aware of the relationships that they choose to bring into their lives.

When I work with women around these issues, my process begins with what I call “peeling back the onion,” as I ask my client to explore internally the following two questions:

  1. How did the friendship begin?
  2. What warning signs did you receive, intuitively, about the person from the very beginning that you either ignored or swept under the rug?

Gently guiding my clients through a deep breathing exercise, while considering these two questions, helps them tap into information that their intuition has logged into their subconscious mind.

“The information is always there if you choose to listen.” (from my book Intuition: The Hidden Asset Everyone Should to Learn to Use)

Through my sessions with over 300 female clients, I have developed a model of the four types of friendships women operate in, the risk each type of relationship poses, and the lessons that can be learned in these interactions. In Part 1 of my Women’s Friendships article series, I discuss Acquaintance Friendship.

The second common female friendship type I have identified are what I call apprentice friendships.

Apprentice Friendships
These are friendships that have been ongoing for 5 years or less. Both people are actively engaged in trying to figure each other out to determine if the friendship is of value to them. Many of these friendships are based on shared experiences, and the further you get away from what the two of you have gone through together, the easier it is for the relationship to no longer be a priority.

Risk factors: If a conflict occurs in these short term friendships, the two individuals usually do not have the foundation to work through their differences. Many women know intuitively at the time of the disagreement that there will not be a second chance to mend the relationship.

Lessons to be learned: Conflicts that arise within these types of friendships can be resolved, but only if both friends are willing to be totally honest and to discuss their issues without holding anything back. If one person is not willing to invest the time and effort to work out their differences, it will be impossible to put the friendship back together.

If you encounter a situation where your friend will not discuss things with you and you value the friendship, put your ego aside and let the other person know it does not matter who is right or wrong, that the friendship is important to you. Giving an apology does not guarantee that the other person will respond or even try to work things out.  Repeated attempts to reach out to the person who does not want to be bothered will cause emotional pain to the person who is trying to work things out.  It is better to reclaim your power and chalk this friendship up to an opportunity for growth.

Healing the emotional pain of being dumped takes the ability to (1) Forgive yourself for past mistakes and (2) Release feelings of anger or resentment toward your former friend.  If the two of you continue to operate in the same personal or business circle, confine your comments to a cordial greeting and keep other friends that both of you know from being involved or asking them to take sides.  In other words, keep it moving when you see each other and remember that the best “revenge” is to have a good and happy life!

Read Part 3 in the series …

 

Intuitive Life Strategist Sheree Franklin helps people to find the courage to release their life challenges in order to live in alignment with their true self. She is the author of Intuition: The Hidden Asset Everyone Should Learn to Use.  To learn more about Franklin’s book go to www.amzn.to/1UxlWLG.  Sheree Franklin is a practitioner at Holistic Health Practice at One East Superior, in Chicago. Her practice includes one-to-one coaching as well as speaking to corporate and nonprofit organizations. For more information, go to www.shereefranklin.com or call 312-664-8376.


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women friendships sheree franklin

Women’s Friendships, Part I: Do Women Intuitively Choose Their Friends?

This is Part 1 in a 4-part series about Women’s Friendships.

Many women share a deep emotional connection with their female friends. Research shows this type of friendship is important because it provides the vital support to help women feel positive and stay healthy. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula or crystal ball for what it takes to make a successful friendship work, and women’s ability to maintain lasting friendships has become more complicated due busy schedules, lifestyle changes and our reliance on technology to communicate with each other.

Technology may be the most significant change. Many people keep their electronic devices on 24/7 communicating and recording their personal thoughts, feelings and actions at all hours of the day and night. Text messages and emails have become the norm for keeping in touch, making it the exception to the rule for women to actually sit and talk with each other. As a result, women today are missing the valuable intuitive insights that occur when we observe the body language, facial expressions and tone of our friend’s voice.

More than half of my female clients struggle to some degree with problems they are facing with their friends. And women aren’t the only ones. Gay males are the second client group who has the most difficulty in maintaining their friendships. Heterosexual males also have conflicts with their friends, but their relationships do not end with the same emotional pain that women go through if things don’t work out.

Through my sessions with over 300 female clients, I have developed a model of the four types of friendships women operate in, the risk each type of relationship poses, and the lessons that can be learned in these interactions.

Women need to be intuitively aware of the types of friends they attract into their lives. This is the first of four female friendship types that I will share.  My next blog article will focus on the second type.

Acquaintance Friendship
These friendships develop with the people who are involved in the same areas of our lives that matter most to us. This includes our hobbies, work, school, social and professional organizations, our kids, and places where we receive personal services.

Risk factors: Some acquaintance friendships develop due to a strategical or tactical need. This makes it easy for one friend to end contact when the other “acquaintance” no longer serves a purpose. The friend who is no longer of value is usually hurt when their phone calls, emails or texts are either not responded to for a week or more or not answered at all.

Lessons to learn: The ability to transition into a deeper level of friendship is based on how you feel intuitively about the other person. If your only priority is to focus on what your “friend” can do for you, this is not a good foundation for a friendship to develop. It’s not unusual for women to stay in an acquaintance friendship indefinitely. This type of friendship can be mutually beneficial to both people as long as they are upfront with their motives for being in each other’s lives. Problems usually develop when women stay in this type of friendship too long and forget how and why it developed.

Read Part 2 in the series …


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Intuition Kicks in 7 Seconds

Scientists tell us that our intuition operates at rocket speed and helps us to make choices on everything from career choices, trustworthiness, intelligence and even sex appeal in less than 10 seconds.  That’s an amazingly short time period, especially if most of the choices and decisions we’re facing happen in the early morning hours, when our brains have just started to warm up.

Since it takes me a while to shake the cobwebs out of my brain (usually after one or two cups of green tea), I seriously question the accuracy of this information.  My question is: how we can speed up our brain alertness to best handle situations that call for our intuition to be the sharpest?

Here are three ideas to help get your brain cells in tip top shape at the beginning of each day:

The first may (or may not) surprise you, and is only advisable if you have someone trustworthy to get up close and personal with: have really great morning sex! Have you ever noticed that when we completely relax and enjoy ourselves through sexual stimulation that it has a two-fold effect? One, our bodies feel better and two, we are often smiling a lot more.

If a morning tryst is not an option for you, consider turning on your favorite music and dancing around in your pj’s a few minutes each morning.

Finally, start  the day feeling the emotion of hope very deeply and believing that every day above ground is a good one.

Here’s a link to an article with more information and tips about intuition effectiveness in the morning:

http://elitedaily.com/life/morning-routine-sharpen-intuition/1487825/

 

 

 


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ignoring your gut

Recovering from Ignoring Your Gut

Have you ever known, in your gut, the right thing to do and, for whatever reason, made the opposite choice?  Even when it appears that we have made our greatest error, this is really an opportunity for us to use our free will and instincts to help us make better choices.

It’s important to remember that whenever we experience a perceived failure, it’s an opportunity to help us to grow and develop. Regardless of what you have done wrong, stubbornly refuse to beat yourself up. Whether we know it or not, each of us is doing the best we can with what we know at the time.

Whenever you face the dilemma of becoming aware that ignoring your intuition always gets you into trouble, this is the time to commit to not repeating the same mistake again.  Trusting your inner wisdom and taking action helps to strengthen your intuition muscle.

Regardless of degrees, title, age, race or gender, we all have periods in our lives of of ups and downs, laughter and sorrow, and success and failure.  Never be ashamed of yourself.  Whenever you experience a disappointment, shame is the one emotion you do not want to spiral into.

Recovering from a mistake that you deeply regret involves:

  • Letting the experience go
  • Releasing shame
  • Forgiving yourself
  • Learning the lesson from the experience
  • Surrounding yourself with people who inspire and motivate

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Intuitive People Need to Hang Out With Friends Who Value Their Instincts

People who want to sharpen their intuitive abilities need to hang out with individuals who value this skill and are supportive. When each person is  free to explore their openly discuss their hunches, insights or intuitive insights it actually increases the influence of inner knowing. Research shows that when you spend time with people who respect and believe in intuition your gut instinct gets stronger!

My advice for those who wish to develop their intuitive muscle is to allow for variety in your life.  Limit time with inflexible or rigid people who are judgmental about your hunches. When you start to pay attention to the flow of your life without censoring, editing or sorting out experiences according to what we think they ought to be or what we are told is acceptable, it allows us the freedom to explore our inner feelings.

Developing your intuition is innate and natural and often inspired by the people we connect with in our daily lives. Allowing yourself to freely express your interest and the positive feedback you receive are two of the most critical factors in expanding your senses.

When you connect with people who are judgmental about your intuition this often packs an emotional wallop which stops you from sensing things around you. The emotional significance of being with people who support your need to explore the spiritual side of life allows for an expansive view of things in life.

Living intuitively allows for you to:
1. Expand your other senses.
2. Operate from the sense of seeing everything as “living in perfection.”
3. Set aside ego-based desires and preferences and let life flow and unfold on its own.

By living intuitively you will probably discover that the universe will meet you more than halfway. Sharpening this skill may lead to a more joyful, prosperous and healthy life.

Intuitive Life Strategist Sheree Franklin helps people to find the courage to release their life challenges in order to live in alignment with their true self.  She is the author of Intuition: The Hidden Asset Everyone Should Learn to Use.  To learn more about Franklin’s book go to www.amzn.to/1UxlWLG.

Sheree Franklin is a practitioner at Holistic Health Practice at One East Superior, in Chicago. You can email your questions at [email protected] Her practice includes one-to-one coaching as well as speaking to organizations. For more information go to www.shereefranklin.com or call 312-664-8376.

 


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Vet Memory Shared When Women Follows Her Intuition

This holiday season is the perfect time to support a vet by allowing them to share their memories and experiences.  Mine happened in the most unlikely time when I was intuitively led to help a family member clean out his home.

One of the most memorable experiences of my life happened when I volunteered to help my uncle clean out the apartment he had been in for over 50 years.  The dirt, dust, and old broken televisions and furniture had been cleaned out over a number of torturous months and one rainy Saturday I opened up a closet door which changed everything.

Somehow in the midst of all the clutter my uncle’s old army uniform had been preserved in a suit bag in a hallway closet.  When I pulled it out it took me a moment to process what I had in my hands — a family treasure.  I called my Uncle Jones in and when he saw the uniform I was treated to one of his rare smiles.  The man who had worn this soldier’s garment was now hidden in a frail body standing on a cane.  Suddenly my intuition took over and I asked, “Do you want to try it on?”  He shrugged slightly at first as if it did not matter, but I sensed that my uncle did want to put on the jacket.  Placing his cane first against the wall, I decided to just help him into the uniform.  I wish you could have been there for the moment…it was so precious.  One of my deepest regrets is that I did not think to get my cell phone and record this very special moment.  As my uncle settled into having his uniform on again, I watched my father’s brother stand straighter as he looked at himself in the mirror.  Uncle Jones even saluted himself.  This rare moment would have never happened if I had not followed my intuition.  My uncle passed away six months after that fateful day we would his old army uniform.  The uniform has now been preserved and we take it out on holidays and show pictures of him.

This was excerpted from my book Intuition: The Hidden Asset Everyone Should Learn to Use.  http://amzn.to/20Qm7GF

It is never too late to help veterans  share their memories.  The men and women who gave so much to insure the world we live in deserve us giving the greatest acts of kindness that we can offer to them…time.  When we give the gift of time this brings a change in people that carries on for hours, days & months.  The history we discover from spending times with vets need to be shared with our families and communities.  We should not have to look in history books to find heroes.  They are all around us we just need to pay attention and offer vets the opportunity to share their wisdom and knowledge.


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Finding the Courage to Trust Your Intuition

It takes courage to trust and take action on our intuitive hunches. One of underlying reasons why we do not follow our inner guidance is often because we do not want to risk making a mistake.

Most of us would rather be safe than to change, even when we know our choice is no longer working for us. It is only when we make the time to carefully examine our lives that many of us finally admit that our misfortunes in life are often due to us ignoring or refusing to act on what we felt in our hearts was the right thing to do.

Part of the challenge in taking action on what our intuition alerts us to do is because we do not know how to decipher the invisible signals it sends us. In the book Thrive: The Third Metric to Defining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder by Arianna Huffington, Psychologists Martin Seligman and Michael Kahana describe intuition-based decision making as:
(a) Rapid
(b) Not conscious
(c) Used for decisions involving multiple dimensions
(d) Based on vast stores of prior experiences
(e) Characteristic of experts
(f) Not easily or accurately articulated afterwards
(g) Often made with high confidence

Since intuition is hard to define, it is easy for us brush our feelings aside because we do not have the courage to stand up for something that we cannot rationalize to another person. Two of the common factors which play a part in our inability to trust our inner knowing are, we often refuse to take action because we do not want to risk hurting or disagreeing with someone, and daring to be different from the group or community that we belong to.

Truth be told, most of us are much more comfortable with following than leading. Creative thinkers are rare. It is ironic that we actually increase our chances for success when we open our minds to our intuition.

If we are really honest with ourselves, it is often hard for us to admit to others that our gut is the plays a big factor in our decision making process. We live in a world that relies on tables, charts and other hard data as the underlying factor for most of the choices we make. Standing firm and believing in your feelings despite what others want to do takes courage. We express our inner strength whenever we speak our truth regardless of what anyone else is doing.

What makes humans unique is the right we have to make our own choices. Many of us are extremely frustrated that things are not going right in our lives, yet we do not have the courage to act and make the changes needed for things to be different. If we are really honest with ourselves, most of us have stayed too long in jobs, relationships, and even places that we live, simply because we do not have the courage to change.

Our intuitive abilities are always there to help guide us by steering us in the right direction by picking up on intricate details that our conscious minds may not notice. The key in being willing to trust our instincts is based primarily on the inner relationship we have developed with ourselves.

Strengthening our intuition muscle begins with self-discovery. This does not happen while we are talking on our iphone, listening to music and playing a video game all at the same time. Moment of self-reflection happen when we consciously choose to turn off the external noise and to become silent.

It is during moments of silence, or meditation that we learn to be comfortable in knowing ourselves–and begin to love the good and not-so-good aspects of who we are. It is through our self-love that we learn to pay attention and become more comfortable with acting on our inner nudges and hunches. When we ignore our inner knowing it retreats from us.

Everyday we are surrounded by opportunities to act on the guidance and direction we receive from our intuition. The better we know ourselves, it is easier to become totally comfortable in trusting our instincts and feelings. Having the courage to take action on your intuitive hunches is like flexing an invisible muscles everyday; making it stronger and even more precise.


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Is the Internet Blocking Our Intuition?

The internet is highly seductive! We start off looking for one piece of information, and suddenly find ourselves transmitted by colorful and blinking hyperlinks to people, places, articles and things that we hadn’t even planned on finding out about! We live attached to our mobile devices and it is changing our brains!  Not to mention how easy it is so easy to loose track of time once we get on the net.

Neurologists have known all along that the human brain rewires itself depending on how it is used, an ability they call “plasticity.” This neural rewiring happens after just one hour per day surfing the net according to an experiment by UCLA Psychology Professor Gary Small, MD.

The biggest challenge to going anywhere on the net are the multiple layers of access that are suddenly available to you. One minute we are looking for airfare than the next moment our Facebook page is open after we receive an email that someone has written on our wall. By having our minds distracted with the net, we are less inclined to pay attention to the subtle clues around us.

Research by The Brain and Creativity Institute suggests that distractions created by the use of mobile Internet devices make it less likely that we will fully grasp the psychological states of those around us. This results in us paying less attention to things happening around and in us!

One of the best ways to make sure that the net is not zapping your intuition is by taking internet breaks.  Giving yourself a regular time period to go without being plugged in might be challenging at first.  Let’s face it most of us check out Facebook and other social media sites all during the day.

Powerful significant moments in your life will zip by if when we do not allow ourselves to be fully present in our lives.  Have you ever been out and your friend is constantly checking their cell phone?  First of all this behavior is rude and secondly it sends the subtle message that the individual is not focused on being present with you.

Science fiction writer and blogger Cory Doctorow says that whenever we turn on our computer, we are plunged into a ecosystem of interruption technologies. Making it impossible for us to stay focused on any one thing for too long. By concentrating less we are often make rapid fire decisions, instead of allowing us to connect with our own inner voice. Taking a moment to step away from the net and asking yourself questions such as–is this right or wrong for me–gives your brain a chance to expand and gives you access to vital information.

Giving up the net isn’t an option for most of us. We are deeply ingrained in a culture and lifestyle that operates at this level in every moment. Choosing to make dedicated time to expand our higher consciousness as a way to open ourselves up to enlightened way of thinking to help us make better decisions and life choices.


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De-Clutter Your Mind to Hear Your Inner Voice

Our minds are packed with a million things to do each day making it next to impossible to be quiet and allow ourselves to listen to our intuition.

Every time we turn to our computers, tablets and smartphones, we are bombarded with internet ads, bells and whistles to distract us.  Even when I work from home (like now) and try to stay focused my mind suddenly remembers that the laundry needs to be done or better yet my stomach is just starting to growl due to hunger.

The best way for me to create quiet time for myself is by getting up a little earlier and making myself a cup of tea.  After pouring it, I set the timer on my microwave for 20 minutes and allow myself to sit down and really listen to what is going on inside of me.  Listening and worrying are two different things.  With listening we allow ourselves to get past the mindless chatter until we reach a point where nothing is going on inside of our mind.  Once I enter the space of complete quiet I ask myself questions:  Am I happy?  What can I do today to grow?  Is my body healthy?  (it takes only a few minutes to check in with all my cells, systems and organs to determine if there are any changes).  And I also take the time to create a beautiful bubble of light in my mind’s eye to act as an invisible energy field to protect me throughout the day.

If I am really desperate for time to focus inwardly one of the best place for me to go is into the bathroom. Thinking back to when I did this just yesterday makes me smile! Once I got quiet my intuition guided me to get on the scale.  This gentle nudge helped me to realize the effects of the the last couple of parties and social events…a weight gain!  Coming to that awareness made me set the intention to walk yesterday instead of taking the bus everywhere.

The insight I realized yesterday was minor in the scheme of things,  but there are many times when I go into silence and check in with my body that I feel the pain in my heart over my Mom’s passing 6 years ago.  When I feel the hurt in my heart this gives me the impetus  to express love for her and to pray for all the family members who have passed.  Paying attention to what we feel on the inside is what keeps us connected to our inner awareness.

Remember our lives are constantly unfolding.  Taking a few minutes to stay tuned in is the best way to prepare for whatever changes life takes us through..  The information we need to help guide and direct our lives each day is always there IF we choose to listen.


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I N T U I T I O N - The Hidden Asset Everyone Should Learn To Use